When I got in the room, I was examined by one of the student doctors. She was very nice, and we joked throughout the appointment. She and the nurse hooked me up to this machine that measured my heart beats. After a few minutes, they took all the wires, bells, and whistles off of me and pulled the machine out of the room.
“I’m going to go read your test results,” the student doctor told me, “I’ll be back with them shortly.”
I was left there in the quiet room to wait. About five minutes into it, my mind started wandering. What if I had something really wrong with me? What if they come in a tell me something horrible? I hate those thoughts. They do no good and stress you out in the process. I pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on the artwork on the walls.
I had almost convinced myself that I was perfectly fine, until the student walked back in. If there wasn’t anything wrong with my heart to begin with, there was now. It wasn’t so much the student that scared me, but what followed behind her. I was sitting there in the corner when the door opened. The student walked in, she never looked up, she just stared at her computer screen.
Behind her, the doctor she was working under. And then another doctor walked in behind her. And, another behind that one. They all entered quietly, almost solemn. NONE of them looked at me, it was almost as if they were trying to avoid eye contact. The last doctor slowly shut the door behind him and rested his hands together, all while staring at the carpet.
So, this is how I go?
I almost threw up. Would they start CPR now while I’m still conscious? I almost got up right then and left; I didn’t think I really wanted to know anymore. But the doctor seemed to be guarding that door.
“Well, Mrs. McCaskill,” the student doctor began, “I’ve been looking at your test results.”
I kid you not, all three doctors behind her looked straight at me then. I felt the color drain from my face. My stomach ran down to hide in my toes. The student took a deep breath and looked away from her screen at me.
It took approximately ten seconds to process what she said. Was I hearing things wrong?
“What,” I asked, blinking away the last of the hysterical fog that was hovering over me.
“You’re fine,” she said again, “The test results showed nothing out of the ordinary.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Then what are all these people for,” I cried, flinging my arms towards the doctors.
“Oh, they’re just here to listen to my findings,” she told me as she glanced over at them.
They smiled back at her. Oh, NOW you smile? I didn’t want to be one of those people, but the words came out of my mouth before I could catch them.
“Are you kidding me? I thought I was dying!”
The student—actually, all of them, looked confused.
“You all walked in here, didn’t say a word, wouldn’t look at me—”
The looked at each other for a second and then nodded, even giggled a bit.
“Oh, wow, I guess it did look bad didn’t it,” the student giggled, “But you’re fine.”
She seemed happy with the way she gave her report. Are you kidding me--
“I’m not fine now,” I countered, “I just flat lined!”
This is one of the reasons my eye twitches--